WTF?! IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT OF A DAY?! A;LNEVOAND;GAHELFJLCNVZ;DNLVKNAEOINLND LVZ;BC;LVNAWE;BOANKCNZV;ZHLESKNFAOEIHFALNEF;LAHDFLNL
EVERYONE! FEEL BETTER!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hmm...
So like, today woke up at 9:30 or so and I showered, came downstairs and saw corporal ho in my living room getting ready to play the PS3 O.O HAHAHAHAHA I was wondering how he got in and he said he snuck in hehe. Anyway, he played infamous for a bit and zapped people and killed himself hehehe. Then we went to indy with Josh and suppose to be with John as well, but he didn't go with the plan!!!!! but it's all good, it was nice. We visited again, I got to walk babe to class and it feels like old times... for me at least. <3>:[ oh wells it's all good. Anita is so awesome! <3 wells ="/">;[
Chatted for a while, it was weird... i started feeling weird. I don't know what this feeling is, it's soo confusing and mixed up sigh.... a;noivnaegnoqeiwnldsnov;iawnlfnd;ofnlewanklzdnvliwnakbivownalfndkhvlangfjlno;vjeflnocjnlaf
Anyway, yeah just learned some stuff here and there and it fucking sucks! X.X but i guess i just needa let it go and forget about it but it's soo hard sigh... =[
How important am i? Sigh... soooo confused! T.T Mommy save me! What should i do? What can i do? Sometimes it sucks to feel left out =/ Sometimes it just sucks to be in the middle of something =/ I hope no one gets hurt in the future =[
Btw, Fatty, i'm very happy for you! I think you're that last hope that made my day stayed a little better so thanks =] I think this concludes my day.
ich brauche wissen, dass du mich liebst und dass du mit mir gluecklich bist. =/
Chatted for a while, it was weird... i started feeling weird. I don't know what this feeling is, it's soo confusing and mixed up sigh.... a;noivnaegnoqeiwnldsnov;iawnlfnd;ofnlewanklzdnvliwnakbivownalfndkhvlangfjlno;vjeflnocjnlaf
Anyway, yeah just learned some stuff here and there and it fucking sucks! X.X but i guess i just needa let it go and forget about it but it's soo hard sigh... =[
How important am i? Sigh... soooo confused! T.T Mommy save me! What should i do? What can i do? Sometimes it sucks to feel left out =/ Sometimes it just sucks to be in the middle of something =/ I hope no one gets hurt in the future =[
Btw, Fatty, i'm very happy for you! I think you're that last hope that made my day stayed a little better so thanks =] I think this concludes my day.
ich brauche wissen, dass du mich liebst und dass du mit mir gluecklich bist. =/
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Day 1
So, I am so new to this. Hi Tammy! You're the first to read this! :p I feel like a noob. :[ lolol anyway...
December 4th, what a bad day... sigh. Can't believe it happened, so unexpected. Now, I don't even know what to think anymore. It feels empty... Not even painful, but really sad, dark and empty. I mean, wow I really never thought I would've gone to that point... but, maybe it was the best decision. =[
Yesterday was the first time I cried so much and first time I actually cried for a girl. I didn't know why I was acting so fine after the whole thing, but it's so hard to listen to sad songs now... even freaking boston made me cried.
At 1:30am, after crying I decided to get some rest since I had chinese school today. It was hard. I walk in the room and I can sense her from the door X.X ahhhhhhhhhh! I didn't think I could sleep, but I did eventually. I was also afraid that I might end up dreaming about it and waking up with a fat heartache like last year.
At 6:45am, I woke up and I couldn't sleep anymore. This is new, it was different. I woke up missing her, but I still felt lonely. I asked myself whether I should just stay in bed or get up and since i couldn't sleep, I decided to play inFamous. An hour later, that stupid shit frozed on me :[ oh wells, whatever. after that i went on the computer to talk about tammy about the rest of the day, hanging out and all that. Then, I left for chinese school.
Chinese School was actually... interesting today because we had a sub and i so did not want to talk or anything, but she made us do these kiddy activities like singing and stuff to learn. It was fun i guess, but god... keeping a fake smile is so hard when the eyes are so sad. After school, walking out sort of sucked cause she usually waits for me and today, it was different =/ For a moment, I wanted to see her, yet I told myself it would hurt and well guess what? It hurted hahahahahahhahahahahahaha T.T I took a glance and saw her looking at me i think? but yeah i kept walking and then i took another glance and she was on the phone all happy... don't know, maybe that decision was the right one after all? =/ I was sooo god damn emo after that! >;[
So anyway, I got home went on the comp. doing my stalking... sigh. I sighed so much today! T.T k... later I went to pick up kevin and he's letting me borrow MGS4 for the break so YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! I love you kevin! and TAMMY! of course, how could i not right? she's my sister! =D Picked up kevin and came back, starved, waited for john. John could not find my house when he was standing right in front of it! LOLOLOL fail! sorry john, love you too <3 anyway, we went to quicklys... I told kevin "something" and boy I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM SO ANGRY! I WAS SCARED ON THE FREEWAY!... I was also scared for my windows too! hahaha.
After that I sorta told him not to say anything, but i ended up telling john, tammy and anita as well LOLOL. Oh yeah, can't forget to mention... Kevin, stop punching walls at quicklys! :P!
We ate, talked, went to Tammy's! TALKED! HAD FUN JOKING AROUND WITH TAMMY AND HER "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" OHOH! remember!, "OH YEAH... JUST LIKE THAT!" ;p HAHAHAHAHA! well anyway, had dinner at tammy's, her mom is cool and funny. It was like ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY! me, john, kevin, anita, tammy and her silbings! hahahaha. It was great! Thank you guys for being there for me! I LOVE YOU ALL! =]
... Es ist nicht, ob ich dich auf warte, aber es ist, willst du mich auf warten?
December 4th, what a bad day... sigh. Can't believe it happened, so unexpected. Now, I don't even know what to think anymore. It feels empty... Not even painful, but really sad, dark and empty. I mean, wow I really never thought I would've gone to that point... but, maybe it was the best decision. =[
Yesterday was the first time I cried so much and first time I actually cried for a girl. I didn't know why I was acting so fine after the whole thing, but it's so hard to listen to sad songs now... even freaking boston made me cried.
At 1:30am, after crying I decided to get some rest since I had chinese school today. It was hard. I walk in the room and I can sense her from the door X.X ahhhhhhhhhh! I didn't think I could sleep, but I did eventually. I was also afraid that I might end up dreaming about it and waking up with a fat heartache like last year.
At 6:45am, I woke up and I couldn't sleep anymore. This is new, it was different. I woke up missing her, but I still felt lonely. I asked myself whether I should just stay in bed or get up and since i couldn't sleep, I decided to play inFamous. An hour later, that stupid shit frozed on me :[ oh wells, whatever. after that i went on the computer to talk about tammy about the rest of the day, hanging out and all that. Then, I left for chinese school.
Chinese School was actually... interesting today because we had a sub and i so did not want to talk or anything, but she made us do these kiddy activities like singing and stuff to learn. It was fun i guess, but god... keeping a fake smile is so hard when the eyes are so sad. After school, walking out sort of sucked cause she usually waits for me and today, it was different =/ For a moment, I wanted to see her, yet I told myself it would hurt and well guess what? It hurted hahahahahahhahahahahahaha T.T I took a glance and saw her looking at me i think? but yeah i kept walking and then i took another glance and she was on the phone all happy... don't know, maybe that decision was the right one after all? =/ I was sooo god damn emo after that! >;[
So anyway, I got home went on the comp. doing my stalking... sigh. I sighed so much today! T.T k... later I went to pick up kevin and he's letting me borrow MGS4 for the break so YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! I love you kevin! and TAMMY! of course, how could i not right? she's my sister! =D Picked up kevin and came back, starved, waited for john. John could not find my house when he was standing right in front of it! LOLOLOL fail! sorry john, love you too <3 anyway, we went to quicklys... I told kevin "something" and boy I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM SO ANGRY! I WAS SCARED ON THE FREEWAY!... I was also scared for my windows too! hahaha.
After that I sorta told him not to say anything, but i ended up telling john, tammy and anita as well LOLOL. Oh yeah, can't forget to mention... Kevin, stop punching walls at quicklys! :P!
We ate, talked, went to Tammy's! TALKED! HAD FUN JOKING AROUND WITH TAMMY AND HER "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" OHOH! remember!, "OH YEAH... JUST LIKE THAT!" ;p HAHAHAHAHA! well anyway, had dinner at tammy's, her mom is cool and funny. It was like ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY! me, john, kevin, anita, tammy and her silbings! hahahaha. It was great! Thank you guys for being there for me! I LOVE YOU ALL! =]
... Es ist nicht, ob ich dich auf warte, aber es ist, willst du mich auf warten?
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